This is unbelievable! It’s like the Chinese version of Talasim … but dangerously hilarious!!
Some captions are really hilarious! LMAO!
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Dear to whom it may not concern …
Ok, so say you’re in Dubai for example, where there is more than a hundred nationalities packed in one city. How can you be 1000% sure that those two guys sitting on the table next to you in the coffee shop are Jordanians and not from any other nationality?
Dear to whom it may not concern …
I was driving one of my colleagues back to her place because she lives close by, when Amr Diab’s classic “tamally ma3ak” came on the radio. It was all fine till she said she likes this song a lot, but she prefers the original version …!!! WTF!
“What original version?“, I asked.
“The original hindi version … Oh it’s so amazing, Who-sane, you should listen to it,” she proudly replied.
I was this close to bitch-slapping her!
Dear to whom it may not concern …
It’s an undeniable fact: the majority of Arabs know how to pronounce the letter P, but they just DON’T want to, either because it “doesn’t matter” … or because it’s “difficult to prounounce it” and my favorite is … “mosh bainna ya zalameh!” …. of course that’s when you dare and correct someone!
Well excuse me, but … LA2 BAINNA W NOSS! Then you give the old and neverending lesson, how people and beebol are NOT the same, how park and bark are NOT the same, how pray and bray are NOT the same, and big and pig are NOT the same, etc, etc … Some get really confused, so they start prounouncing everything with a P … “ohh … very peautiful!” … or “woow very pig“.
A recent post by 7aki fadi brought back very old memories.
Although they were from different parts of Jordan, both my grandmothers used to share the same weird curses on me that no one could really explain. But of course I had to master the art of differentiating between these curses and know when it was serious, sarcastic, or when it was a joke.
Some examples:
- y7ok 7atharak (يحك حظرك)
- yiglib ri7mak (يقلب رحمك)
- ybain elli yso66ak or y6ossak depending on the mood (يبين اللي يسطك أو يطسك)
- khara elli yodomlak or yo6morak - when i do something real bad, like when I blew up grama’s back yard with kerosene.
Oh the memories!
These are few of the sweet endearments I grew up hearing. Now you’d think anyone growing up hearing this kinda shit would need serious therapy, but it’s funny how men turn out to look like normal human beings with no psychological complexes to mention. As if it was some sort of an Advanced Verbal Immunity System (نظام تمسحة متطور).
I’m not sure if these words even have a meaning. It could be the case that back then someone would come up with a cool curse and then it’d get picked up and used. Who knows ….
Or maybe back then they had some sort of an Annual Cursing Competition where the whole garyeh would meet and the one who comes up with the coolest weirdest curse wins.
Like a ‘Coolest Cursing Awards (CCA)’, and mokhtar el garyeh, after thorough consideration with the garyeh’s council, would present the CCA Award to the most creative curser. Of course there’d be categories, like the funniest curse, the unexplainable curse, and the unpronouncable curse, and so forth …
And this year’s award goes toooooo ….
3ogla el fa6ableh for “allah iyfajjir kawakbak”
*Applause*
…. followed by 3ogla’s speech how he wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for his father’s continuous beating and his mother’s endless swearing and cursing.
*Applause*
Later on they go celebrate and have an eat-all-the-mansaf-you-can-eat treat.
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