This is, befittingly, dedicated to Bashar El Batta (The Duck):

في حارتنا ديك سادي سفاح
ينتف ريش دجاج الحارة كل صباح
ينقرهن.. يطاردهن.. يضاجعهن .. ويهجرهن
ولا يتذكر أسماء الصيصان

في حارتنا ديك يصرخ عند الفجر
كشمشون الجبار .. يطلق لحيته الحمراء
ويقمعنا ليل ونهار .. يخطب فينا .. ينشد فينا
يزني فينا .. فهو الواحد .. وهو الخالد
وهو المقتدر الجبار

في حارتنا ثمة ديك .. عدواني
فاشستي نازي الأفكار
سرق السلطة بالدبابة
.. ألقى القبض على الحرية والأحرار
ألغـى وطنـــا
ألغـى شـــعبا
ألغـى لغــــــة
ألغـى أحداث التأريـخ
وألغـى أســــماء الأزهـار

في حارتنا ديك يلبس في العيد القومي
لباس الجنرالات
.. يأكل جنساً
.. يشرب جنساً
.. يسكر جنساً
.. يركب سفناً من أجساد
.. يهزم جيشاً من حلمات

.. في حارتنا ديك عربي
!فتح الكون بالاف الزوجات
.. في حارتنا ثمة ديك أمي
.. يرأس إحدى الميليشيات
.. لم يتعلم إلا الغزو.. وإلا الفتك
.. وإلا زرع حشيش الكيف .. و تزوير العملات
.. كان يبيع ثياب أبيه
..ويرهن خاتمه الزوجي
!ويسرق حتى أسنان الأموات
..في حارتنا ديك كل مواهبه
!!أن يطلق نار مسدسه الحربي على رأس الكلمات

..في حارتنا ديك عصبي مجنون
..يخطب يوماً كالحجاج
…و يمش زهواً كالمأمون
يصرخ من مأذنة الجامع
…يا سبحاني يا سبحاني
!!فانا الدولة والقانون
..كيف سيأتي الغيث إلينا
..كيف سينمو القمح
..وكيف يفيض علينا الخير
!وتغمرنا البركة
!هذا وطن لا يحكمه الله
!لكن تحكمه الديكة

في بلدتنا يذهب ديك .. يأتي ديك
..والطغيان هو الطغيان
..يسقط حكم لينيني .. يهجم حكم أمريكي
!!والمسحوق هو الانسان

..حين يمر الديك بسوق القرية
..مزهواً منفوش الريش
..وعلى كتفيه تضيئ نياشين التحرير
..يصرخ كل دجاج القرية في إعجاب
..يا سيدنا الديك
..يا مولانا الديك
!!يا جنرال الجنس .. وفحل الميدان
!!أنت حبيب ملايين النسوان
!هل تحتاج الى جارية؟
!هل تحتاج الى خادمة؟
!هل تحتاج الى تدليك؟

حين الحاكم سمع القصة
!أصدر أمراً للسياف بذبح الديك
..قال بصوت غاضب
!كيف تجرأ ديك من أولاد الحارة أن ينتزع السلطة مني؟
!كيف تجرأ هذا الديك؟
وأنا الواحد دون شريك

In short, the movie is a black comedy: a mixture of comedy and drama, but what was most striking to me, and what caused me to write this post, was Chaplin’s classic speech. The speech, which Chaplin wrote himself by the way, applies to all dictators old, new and those in the making.

“I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor, that’s not my business.

I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.

We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery.

We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.

We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in: machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little: More than machinery we need humanity;

More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.

Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all.

Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me I say “Do not despair”.

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish.

Soldiers: don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.

Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate, only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers: don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written: “The kingdom of God is within man”. Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men; in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then in the name of democracy let’s use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security.

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfill their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people.

Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Look up! Look up! The clouds are lifting, the sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world. A kind new world where men will rise above their hate and brutality.

The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow, into the light of hope, into the future, that glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us.

Look up! Look up!”

If that was too depressing, which I’m sure it was, you can watch Adenoid Hynkel’s hilarious speech at the beginning of the movie.

While I agree that the photo is beautiful and the photographer did a brilliant job capturing that very moment, I am not totally convinced that it’s good enough to be the ‘photo of the year’.

First of all, I don’t think the photo really captures the significance of the Arab Spring. The shot could have been taken anywhere in the world and at any time. If someone told me it’s been taken 10 years ago in Saudi, or Afghanistan or Pakistan or Iran, or France, or Belgium, or Canada, I would still have believed them. Okay, maybe not in France, Belgium or Canada, since they have banned Niqab.

More importantly, the photo was chosen because it shows a different image of how Niqabi women are preconceived. Basically, it humanizes them … and it is exactly that argument that I am opposed to. Just because a woman opted to wear a Niqab does not rid her of feelings. They are mothers, sisters and daughters, who have feelings and emotions. They are humans! The photo challenges a stereotype that in 2012 should no longer be a stereotype.

American documentary photographer, Nina Berman, commented on the photo:

“In the Western media, we seldom see veiled women in this way, at such an intimate moment. It is as if all of the events of the Arab Spring resulted in this single moment – in moments like this.”

Having said that, the photo of the year, and rightly so, could have reflect the Arab Spring in a better way, and I personally think there are dozens of photos out there that succeeded in illustrating the Arab Spring more gloriously. Here are my top 10 Arab Spring photos:

I know he’ll love it when I carry him around on my shoulders, when I give him piggy-back rides and when I throw him up and catch him as he laughs his bottom back to earth. I know I’d get tired of carrying him that long (he is getting bigger and heavier you know). So I know I’ll beg him for a short break, but we’ll spend it conspiring and talking about our plan to rule the world! He’d want us both kings, or else he’ll reject the throne, and I’d laugh hysterically … I mean why not!

I know …

We’ll have serious conversations about toys and dinosaurs … and I know I’ll have to come up with a less dramatic explanation why they don’t roam earth anymore. He’ll ask me to read him his favorite bedtime story forever and I know I will, at least until he starts finding them boring. I know we’ll build sandcastles together and then he’ll bury me neck deep under the sand and proceed to do all kind of crazy stuff with my unprotected face, but I know I’ll laugh from the bottom of my heart.

I know …

I’ll take millions of photos of him, arm-wrestle with him and pretend he beat the crap out of me. I know I’ll teach him how to be honest, respectful, how to love people and not to bully anyone and how not to take crap from anyone. I know I’ll teach him what life is all about as we stroll down parks and beaches, his little fingers barely making it around one of mine. I know it will probably come as a shock to him when he learns that daddy is not really a superhero (but I won’t lie about the fact that I do possess Superbabies raising powers). I know I’ll promise to listen and pay attention to him, give him all that time that he needs and always be there for him, and God willing, I know I will.

I know …

I’ll be missing him so damn much when I go to work every day and can’t wait to get back home to lift him up and squeeze him in my arms. I know we’ll both have a high pitched genuine laugh …. until I feel a small hand pulling on my shirt. I look down and there she is: “Daddy, it’s my turn now!!“, she’d say, reminding me how blessed I am with not one, but two little angels.

We always express compassion and sympathy towards people who get put behind bars for speaking their mind. It’s wrong, inhumane, unjustifiable and it could be you or me. We’re even more concerned when those arrested were not even accused of that horrendous crime to begin with, but we are absolutely enraged when those arrested for committing no crime are people we know and whom we interact with.

This is the case of Anas Maarawi, the Syrian blogger and founder of ArDroid, who dedicated most of his time and effort to blog about the Android OS in Arabic, when there were no Arabic resources on the web at all. Anas, who’s always been a supporter of open-source software, now finds himself confined under lock and key.

This is the latest of the Syrian regime’s atrocities committed every day under the pretext of “reform”. According to close sources, Anas was “detained on Friday 1-7-2011 in Kafarsousah, Damascus. No information about him ever since”.

Anas is not a fake virtual identity and he’s certainly not an American man pretending to be a lesbian fighting a fictitious battle, although I now wish he’d get half of the international support the fake Syrian Lesbian received. Anas is real and is in desperate need for any support he can.

Please, tweet about Anas with the #FreeAnas hashtag. It’s a fact, the Syrian regime has people monitoring the internet, and if they get pressure from people the world over are demanding Anas’s freedom, hopefully they will feel obliged to release him. Some good people have already created a Free Anas Facebook page and a Free Anas blog and some banners people can put on their websites and blogs to raise awareness about Anas’s ordeal.

Finally, my thoughts and prayers are with Anas’s family and friends in these hard times and I hope he’s in good health and will soon return to his loved ones to do what he does best: promote open-source code.

Anyway, here’s some of the cool stuff I saw there:

Yes, it’s legal in Barcelona, and there are shops to improve the experience

La Rambla is an awesome, busy and a highly entertaining street in Barcelona

Street Spray Paint – La Rambla

Cool Street Performances – La Rambla

Sagrada Família (Gaudi’s Unfinished Church)

Gaudi’s Casa Batlló

Barcelona’s Arc de Triomf

Barcelona’s beautiful alleys. Barcelona made me realize how much I admire alleys and passages. I’d aimlessly roam the streets looking for the next alley to stand and gaze at it in complete wonderment at how it came to be.

Citadel Park

Plaça de Catalunya

Museu Picasso (The Picasso Museum. No pictures allowed inside)

And the coolest ad I’ve ever seen was in Barcelona!

And then there was graffiti … a lot of graffiti!

And that’s really it folks! It was a bit difficult enjoying what you’re seeing and taking a photo or video of it at the same time, so there were some missed photographic opportunities, but, to pat myself on the back, I think I did a decent job at documenting it. All in all, Barcelona is an awesome city, with awesome people, awesome weather, very good food and great company!

Perhaps it’s also worth noting that these high-res photos and HD videos were all taken from an iPhone 4. I think their quality is awesome, but you can just imagine how much beauty a DSLR would’ve brought back!

Verdict: if you’re preparing a list of cities to visit, make sure you’ve got Barcelona there.

* Barcelona is the capital of Catalonia, one of the Spain’s seventeen communities, and hence the title of this post. I have also become fascinated by calling my short journeys ‘jobs’ as they are not really a result of any vacation planning, but are work-related trips. Obviously, I am not complaining here.

Really? Yes, and that is winning (to borrow from the great Charlie Sheen).

It was completely unplanned and that’s what’s so cool about it. A couple of days ago I went to the Dinner in the Sky’s location to meet the franchisee and check out the venue and the feasibility of hosting events, or recommending some sort of a loyalty scheme program to clients, and the Dinner in the Sky guys, Dreamdays, invited us for a test drive. I happily obliged.

You get strapped to your chair on a safe platform with a roundtable on it, while a crane slowly pulls it up, reaching heights more than 160 feet . Obviously, the Dinner in the Sky is for those hungry for the adrenaline rush more than the food itself. I must say the platform is completely safe and is very stable. While you’re up in the sky, the platform rotates so everyone on board gets a cool view.

The Dinner in the Sky concept is not new, but this time around they chose the Dubai Marina area as a location, where the view of JBR Towers and the Dubai Marina Yacht Club is (perhaps this is not the best use of words here, but it is) drop-dead gorgeous!

Oh and fyi, there are no toilets up in the sky, so you know, do whatever you have to do before you get up there.

The other night I watched The Kingdom of Heaven, and then went straight to bed. That night I had a weird dream where I was accompanying a very angry Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi in the city of Dubai. I don’t usually remember dreams, but I vaguely remembered this one after a colleague asked me what I did the day before.

Statue of Salah Al Deen - Al Karak, Jordan by Mark Kirchner

All my efforts to remember the dream went in vain, so I wrote this in attempt to picture what my contemporary conversation with Salaheddin would’ve been like:

صلاح الدين: من أنت وأين أنا؟
.أنا حسين … وانت في دبي يا أيها القائد صلاح الدين
صلاح الدين: دبي؟ ما هذه؟ وفي أي عام أنا؟
.دبي هي مدينة من مدن الإمارات العربية المتحدة … وإنت في العام 2007 ميلادي
!صلاح الدين: أحمدك وأشكرك يا رب! لقد أتممت رسالتي … واتحد العرب أجمع! شكراً لك يا رب
.يا صلاح الدين … الإمارات العربية المتحدة هي دولة وحدة من الدول العربية التلاتة وعشرين Not Really
صلاح الدين: إذاً فكيف تقول أن الإمارات العربية قد اتحدت؟
.والله ما أظن إنه هالفكرة ممكن تصير أبداً
صلاح الدين: وما ذاك الذي أراه؟ من هن تلك العاريات الكاسيات؟
هدول سكان المدينة يا صلاح الدين. ن
!صلاح الدين: مستحيل! قد أكون في بلاد الهند أو في بلاد الإفرنجة، لكنني لن أصدق أبداً أنني في دولة عربية
!صلاح الدين: أرني طريق مسقط رأسي يا حسين … العراق
!والله العراق يا سيدي حالها مش أفضل من حال أي دولة عربية، استلموها الأمريكان بحجة تحريرها، وأسقطوا حاكمها السابق، اللي على فكرة كان تكريتي زيّك بالزبط
!!صلاح الدين: ما الهذيان الذي تتفوه به يا فتى؟ إلهي أعني على ما أثقله على كاهلي هذا الأحمق
!صلاح الدين: حسنٌ، حسنٌ … فلنذهب إلى مملكة السماء … القدس … وستعود الأمور إلى مجرياتها بإذن الله
والله يا صلاح الدين مش عارف شو بدي أحكيلك عن القدس بالذات … بس كمان القدس بطلت إلنا. صارت لليهود خلص … والعرب اللي ساكنين في فلسطين ماكلين هوا، وعم بقاتلوا بعض.
صلاح الدين: اخرس يا رجل!!! إنتبه لما تقول … وإلا والذي نفسي بيده لاجتزيت رأسك على الفور …القدس لنا يا هذا … وقد حررتها بيدي هاتين !!! ن
… بقى قبل يا سيدي .. الوضع اختلف الآن .. العرب متفرقين … والوضع زي ما إنت شايف يعني …. بس الحمد لله We’re doing fine … Really
صلاح الدين: يو أر دوينج فاين؟! قبّح الله وجهك يا رجل! … تكالبت عليكم الأمم، واستولى الأعداء على القدس وبغداد … وتقول لي: يو آر دوينج فاين؟! واحسرتاه … أغرب عن وجهي أيها البغيض!!ض
.طول بالك علينا شوي يا زلمة، يعني زي كإنك محملني ذنب الأمة العربية كلها
!صلاح الدين: يا زلما؟ إذاً دلني على أي مكان على هذه الأرض لأحشد جيشاً جباراً لتحرير بلاد العرب
والله يا صلاح ما أظن في بكل هالعالم هادا المحل اللي بتحكي عنه
صلاح الدين: ما … وأ … جب … جب

This is the part where Saladin gets a severe heart attack while he was struggling to utter the word “cowards”, and where I don’t try to help because he and I know that he doesn’t belong to this time.

The artwork is part of a collection by artist Atelier Van Lieshout that Tim Van Laere Gallery recently exhibited in Spain. A quick look at the the artist’s works can show that the he has some sort of an obsession for, ummm, symbolism.

Of course the reporter did not realize that the artwork is in fact a phallic symbol, and that’s why it was published, but a friend told me the reporter is now in deep kaka.

I’m not sure if he’s being punished for running the image in the first place, or for not knowing that it resembles a massive male member, or maybe for the fact that it’s pointing directly at an article on celebrations of Al Mawlid Al Nabawi (Prophet Mohammad’s birthday) around the world!

Here is more info on the production, but in brief, it’s an awesome modern artistic production, by Sonia Sabri and Company, that combines “movement, gesture, expression, music and the spoken word”.

I managed to take the following video during their kick-off press conference at the Abu Dhabi Women’s College two days ago, where some members of the band gave a sneak preview of what they will be offering audiences in both cities. Very cool stuff if you ask me and much more than what I had expected. The first segment of the video shows Sonia Sabri, followed by Shan Bansil, the awesome beatboxer (who surprisingly majored in Mechanical Engineering!), and finally a Shan Basil and Marcina Arnold duet.

The production will be showing in Abu Dhabi on the 26th of Feb at the Abu Dhabi Theater and in Dubai on the 28th of Feb at the Dubai Community Theatre and Arts Centre. The show will also be traveling to Jordan in March, and you can follow them on twitter.